A funny thing happened on the way to Damascus (or, some doggerel attributed to that Ananias who cured St. Paul of his blindness, but I don't suppose he could really have written them, 'cause the historical-critical method would say the lymeric hadn't been invented yet...)

The thing about making theology rhyme,
whenever I give this a bit of my time,
is that I'm afeared
I'll put out my beard
'cause I can't find a rhyme for Damascus.

And others more Logos-ly gifted than I
did tremble, and whimper and sniffle and cry,
and fall from a horse --
I mean Paul of course --
when asked to make rhymes for Damascus.

So Old Rome and New Rome and Third Rome and more
got down on their knees on the cold marble floor
and prayed to our Lord,
"Avert ye the sword!
'Cause we can't make a rhyme for Damascus!"

And finally Paul got the courage to ask us,
and once it came out he got bolder to task us.
With a mighty oration,
Divine inspiration
said, "There's only one rhyme for Damascus..."

My muse...

...has gone south for the winter.

Political Unrest

The archdeacon sought out his patron of note
To query for whom he should probably vote;
But all of the candidates seemed to be full
of qualities which in the pews are called "bull."
And straight-shooting Midwestern farmers should know,
'Cause that's what they use to make so much corn grow.

Quartet of Bishops on Respect for Life

Here is a handful of some of the more powerful statements or homilies I've found on Respect Life Sunday/Month. God bless and strengthen our bishops for preaching and teaching the truth clearly and with charity!

Archbishop Dolan, in a 10/3 homily, teeing off from the first reading

Archbishop Chaput, in a 10/3 homily (audio), leading with a rather good set-piece on prayer and respect for life, before his even better homily on faith and integrity

Archbishop Vigneron, in a 10/3 address to a conference on stem cell research

Bishop Nickless, in his diocesan newspaper, with wonted clarity

Brevia Theologica - Why I like Pope St. Gregory the Great

10. Like me, his family was from Sicily.
9. He founded seven monasteries on his various estates.
8. He was friends with St. Leander of Seville, on whose feast day is my birthday.
7. He was quick with a pun. ("Angles? Don't you mean angels?")
6. He insisted that priests and bishops act like real priests and bishops.
5. The Moralia in Iob.
4. He converted the Lombards from Arianism (not to be outdone by St. Leander, who did the same for the Visigoths).
3. The Gregorian Sacramentary.
2. He had unparalleled taste in liturgical music.
1. The Cura Pastoralis.

Parenting Epiphany

Today, while reading Smiter Jr and Smitrilla a bedtime story -- an edifying one, about the uses of Gaulish beer in provincial Roman orgies of the early Imperial period* -- I had a brilliant revelation. Smiter Jr likes to go to bed early on school nights, and he falls asleep quite easily. Smitrilla, however, likes to stay up as late as she can get away with. So, I shall decree that Smitrilla's bedtime is now 4 pm, and insist definitively that she be in bed no later than 4 hours past her bedtime!!!



* "Asterix the Gaul in Switzerland"

Field Trip

Today we five -- Smiter, Mrs. Smiter, Smiter Jr, Smitrilla and Smitrinian, took a field trip to a nearby city, to see its zoo. The weather was hot, so we went early, but it was still quite crowded. We couldn't decide if the baby reindeer or the baby giraffe was cuter. The baby reindeer was definitely more shy. On the way there, in the early morning fog, we could see bedewed spider webs in the grass along the road. At one point, we passed a small meadow, with literally hundreds of webs on every tall weed and blade of grass. They were packed in so close together; we've never seen anything quite like it. We cheer their insectivorous ways, as long as they remain outside.

Trivia point of the day: The scientific name for the Asian Spectacled Eider is, apparently, "histrionicus histrionicus." To us, they seemed much more laid back than that, but then, we weren't trying to eat them -- it is bad form, at the zoo, I believe -- so perhaps their behavior was not truly representative...